Did you ever come across a personal article or story and just get completely absorbed into both the actual content, as well as the resulting feedback and commentary?
In this age of internet over-sharing, there are always new viral posts that pop up on our screens, but honestly, very few have any impact me. Generally, I give it a quick read through, chuckle if it’s satirical or funny, cry if it’s sentimental and then move on.
Yesterday afternoon, that all changed.
The article title seemed entertaining enough: How Breastfeeding Ruined My Body…
(You can read the full article HERE.)
In case you don’t want to click over, I’ll give you a quick debrief:
A woman had a baby.
She committed to breastfeeding her baby for a year!
She claims that as a result of breastfeeding, her body changed — specifically her boobs.
She feels that the one thing that was integral to her pre-baby identity was taken from her.
She feels sadness and regret.
She shared her honest feelings with the public.
Now, as a mother twice-over, I get it. I get where she is coming from. You are You before the baby, and you are You after the baby. The before-You and after-You are very different people both psychologically, and in many cases physically.
Such is life, right?
What I don’t understand is the disgusting hate and vitriol being spewed at this woman in commentary on Facebook about what kind of person and mother she is — the count is at 124 comments last I checked. She is accused of influencing women not to breastfeed, of not loving her child, and of being an ingrate and not appreciative of her “blessed” motherhood role. People were calling the author selfish, vain, an idiot, dumb, mental… even a C U Next Tuesday!
Well, simply because her opinions and feelings about womanhood and motherhood did not align with their own… and she missed her perky boobs.
As I read through the hateful commentary, I couldn’t help but wonder (in my best Carrie Bradshaw voice):
Once we become mothers, are we destined to a life of second place?
Should our feelings and core needs now get indefinitely pushed behind those of the beautiful humans we bring into the world?
My children are my universe. My heart. My life. Yet, based on some of the comments I read, I am a bad mother and a poor example of a modern female because I occasionally miss the woman I was before my babies came into my life.
Things change — whether that’s the result of pregnancy, breastfeeding, age, gravity, whatever… my physicality is important to me. When I look my best, I feel my best — being a mother doesn’t change that. When I feel my best, I am the best version of me and the best entrepreneur, wife, mother and friend. The best me would never tear another woman down or call her names for her personal feelings on a personal topic that truly has no direct impact on anyone but her. Hopefully, my children learn the importance of kindness, self-respect, determination, ambition and hard work from this best me.
I’m not quite sure why this article resonated with me so much, but I’m glad I read it. If anything, it confirms that there are many people out there that feel as though they need to validate their own choices by disparaging others. Perhaps they are unknowingly still searching for their heart’s delight…
I’m grateful that I found mine and I can share it with those I love most.
P.S. — I know today’s post is a departure from the usual THD agenda, but I created this website and business as a personal outlet and form of creative expression to address things that were on my mind, in my heart… and yes, in my closet! What are YOUR thoughts? Would you like to see more of this type of social dialogue on here? Let me know…